The Merkur.

I’d written a version of this and posted it on Kinja in 2017. Kinja wiped everything, which meant that my original was gone, as was the copy I drunkenly attempted to move over to this platform. Eh, I’d been meaning to revise anyway. Here’s the revision:

I’d just finished up a call in one of the more prosperous areas of Sacramento, driving the Ford Transit van down the street when I spotted this Merkur sitting in a driveway. I was admiring how good it looked when I saw a poorly written “For Sale” sign in the lower corner of the rear window.

I left a note in the mailbox, got a callback an hour later. It was close to lunch, so I signed out of the tablet and drove back over.

I stopped the van and got out. Up close, I saw that what looked good from fifty feet away through a windshield showed itself to be sun-blasted paint that was formerly metallic, and cladding faded to an ashy gray. A walk-around revealed cracked marker lights and turn signals. The body was straight, that was good, and no sunroof. Sunroofs were common on the majority of Merkurs imported here; the delete was the rare one. Cool.

I rang the doorbell and introduced myself to the seller’s mother. She apologized for his absence and excused herself to get the keys for the car. I stood about twenty feet away and admired how good it looked from a distance. The keys were handed over and I unlocked the car. The interior, except for the seats was in awful shape. The column surround was missing, headliner was mostly gone, the carpet was worn- it was a 31 year old car, a daily driver being sold by a kid who was heading away to university. I was doing the calculations in my head while the car warmed up a bit. I’d asked mom if the battery was good. She said that the kid had replaced it not long ago and it was true, the engine spun and caught on the first try. After the temp needle had budged a bit, I slotted the vague shifter into reverse, released the parking brake and backed into the street.

Under way, the car was responsive with clutch fairly smooth, not bad for a cable operated unit. I sensed mom’s nerves from the passenger seat and kept the drive to the ‘hood and under forty miles per hour. Still, I felt the turbo spool up, the shifter positively engaging gears, a good surge of acceleration. I would have loved to get it on the bigger streets, but no.

In the drive, I looked for the hood release, and remembered that it was on the now-missing column shroud. I wasn’t able to get a good grip on the cable, so I grabbed a pliers from the toolkit and pulled the lead end of the hood cable.

Underneath, there was a drive belt for the alternator. That was it. Everything else was disconnected.

Here’s where my thoughts went to my Mercedes languishing in the garage with a burned out coil and the logistics of having two orphan projects and struggling a bit financially.

“He’d like twenty-five hundred”. My reverie was interrupted. I replied that 2500 would be fair for a car that didn’t require a whole lot of work. This car, with literally every lock missing, bad paint, cracked marker lenses, and an A/C system that needed everything replaced wasn’t it. We stood silently. I thanked her and said I’d have to consult with the Minister of Finance. I was already thinking no.

A few days later I relayed my regrets via text. I thought I was finished, but the kid contacted me again about six months later, saying the car was still there, and would I like to buy it at a greatly discounted rate because parents and regaining a driveway. Sadly, the answer was again no.

One qualifier for any project is: “Does this car make me swoon?” For the Merkur as well as the CRX that was offered to me for free if I got it out of her garage, that answer is no. The Merkur because I wasn’t looking for a huge project, the CRX for knees that weren’t as bendy as they used to be.

I’m now using the Mercedes as it was intended, a daily car. The Corolla that had lived in the driveway was donated months ago after sitting unused for over a year, that car rendered obsolete by lack of power and crumple zones. The Mercedes is a comfortable car, never mind that the cabin fan doesn’t work and three out of four windows are inop, the door limiter “thwacks” whenever I open or close the driver’s door and the CEL is on because of a vacuum hose that’s askew under the hood. These are all minor things, and can be sorted by me, really- The A/C compressor is working, brakes are new, tires are still good. Transmission needs a rebuild, but my mechanic knows where to send it- and I’d definitely leave it with Mike and have his guys look after that, because there are some jobs that are better done by experienced folks.

Still, I swoon whenever I see the car. And isn’t that what it’s about?